Online browsing,speed dating,blind dates,the club scene,even at church,etc.,etc,.etc.We all have been there where even at the moment you least expect it,it can happen,finding someone you can potentially spend the rest of your life with.Random acts that happen in the movies is a rarity in reality,but optimism can go hand and hand with being naive.It can be frustrating and can be a burden or can knock you off your original focus.We all search for someone even if you or not really looking so to speak,but the hunt has always been on,knowing the dating scene is fucking crazy.Some of my friends that i have gathered over years have seem to just settle,knowing they could have done better ....or not,but who really knows if the perfect mate is out there.Yes,sometimes i express my frustration on the subject of finding a woman that i like from every angle,its like the mad scientist trying build the perfect person,but hey this shit is hard,because of their emotional problems,trust issues,not communicating and this is me being dismissive,they can be crazy.
I know and i hear my friends and family telling me all the time,"just wait,she is out there","be patient", "stop looking,it will happen"...The thing is i have to put 50% of the blame on myself,cause honestly,i have been looking but not hard enough,i go by it very casually,I'm not really looking,but i am,feel me? Seeing couples all the time is not always cool and i have went through my 20's without a long term relationship,i have had chances,but those chances were not with women i knew i could spend a year with.I am not looking for perfection,that shit is impossible,but dammit,what happen to the attractive,honest,great humor,good understanding can hold a conversation,don't matter if you are struggling,with no kids in her late 20's kind of woman? A friend of mine 11 years ago,told me that what i am looking for is not realistic,and now I'm thinking,was he right?,so far he has been.Thank God I'm not in this alone,I'm not saying this is my portion of this blog called "misery is begging for company",NO,its just that I'm glad some people can relate with me and someone can understand.
Since late 2007,i have been on dates with at least a dozen different women,all have their share of problems,but they are problems i just couldn't help them with,some were just uncrackable.I try to help them with what they were going through and some have even admit they have these problems they cannot shake,whether it was a previous abusive relationship or just the fact of being cheated on.Now i just really pace myself,I'm 29 with really no sign of finding anyone,but i stay optimistic,i don't beat myself up about it like i used to and to some of my friends i might even seem desperate,but that's not the case,even when i was beating myself up,i kept my emotions bottled in 80% of the time.My older sister has a gift of seeing things and her vision once upon a time was bestowed upon me,she seen me with a woman name "Angie" and we would be together with a set of twin babies as she describe "the most beautiful babies you would have ever seen",and this would happen by the time i was 26,but was that a dream instead of a vision,cause i haven't met Angie and don't have any children.So there we have another drop in the bucket or i like to call it,strike 58 your out.
The saga continues....I have alot of love to give,patience and a open mind,lets see what happens.
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